Climbing The Ladder

Do you ever think that life feels like struggling up a huge ladder. We are all getting on it and it’s uphill?  Sometimes we are on the ladder to better relationships, a better job, more money, the road to success in one form or another.

There are even days when we are getting on the ladder just to get out of bed. Those are the toughest ones - when you feel like you are carrying all of your emotional baggage in a sack on your back and it’s so heavy.

It’s such a hard climb, only one step at a time and everything aches while you are carrying this heavy load.  As you figure out how to take your next step you wobble and then you fall off.  You find yourself back at the bottom. Ugh!

When this happens, you may even think that you want to rest and wallow here for a while.  You’ve been here before, energy is low but it’s kind of familiar.  In fact it might even feel safe and warm.  Let me sympathise. I’ve been there, done that, got the tee-shirt.  And this is what it looked like for me when I used to spend time in this place.

I’d sometimes decide to stay for a few days even weeks, feeling warm, safe and familiar.  If I were to make a picture of it, it would look like I had fallen into a pool of my own crap .  Warm and brown, safe and familiar.  I’d have my old friends with me who always show up when I fall off.  There would be all my old limiting beliefs, all my critical self talk and my judgments and self sabotaging behaviours.  We would be sitting there, wallowing together, reminiscing on how many times we had done this.  The level of crap  would go up according to how long I chose to sit there.  The only thing that would have me shift would be when the smell got too bad.  I’d hit my limit.

It was time to wake up to myself.  That’s when I would take stock, take responsibility for myself , find my truth, my clarity and my purpose again. I’d make a new choice. I knew I didn’t want to be back there and I would start making moves and see more of  what I did want. Even although I might feel wobbly and unsure.  I’d put my foot back on the ladder and start again, leaving my old friends behind.  They are old friends, they have spent a long time being part of me, they have helped me become the person I am today.  I am truly grateful when they show up now because they always have something to show and teach me that will help me to grow more. Once I make that choice I instantly start to feel better.  The struggle stops and I let go of the need to hang on to the ladder.

After years of falling off and getting back on, I now know that when I let go, I can live life in a real and truthful way that creates a whole new freedom and joy.  It can be the same for you.  You don’t have to struggle or climb the ladder.  If you know that you want something more, then it’s time to get to know yourself better.

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